Re:Shape Your Thoughts to Let Go

RE:SHAPE YOUR THOUGHTS TO LET GO

I did a mirror meditation this morning. The prompt was as follows:

“Look at your forehead and imagine that you are pressing a button and ejecting a CD of your old beliefs and negative thoughts that is playing in your forehead. Take your hand and imagine that you are pulling that CD out of your head and throwing it away”.

I thought, wait a minute, why do I even house these negative thoughts and beliefs, and why am I holding onto them? I know better than to do that. Why do I need a meditation prompt to remind me to “let go”?  What insecurities am I holding onto? Where do they stem from? What have I been telling myself and how is it holding me back?

I’m sitting here thinking, if I can really let go and eject what no longer serves me, what can I accomplish? And how can I actually do this?

I’m all about finding tools that to help me achieve over-said quotes and phrases, like, learning tools to “CALM DOWN“, and “let go of what no longer serves you”, and “just be happy”. We’ve all heard these as MUST DO’S TO LIVE A GREAT LIFE, but they don’t come with any direction. No manual. No suggestions on how to do it. So I pondered how to let go of what no longer serves me and here is what I found…

The Words We Speak and Think Hold Power

I’m reflecting on how words shape us, how when we say things to ourselves, it becomes our reality. Words can lift you up or pull you down. Words can make you happy or sad and upset. Words have the power to change your mood in an instant. Words can make you fall in love or suffer in hate. WORDS and thoughts can lower self esteem, self confidence, and manifest insecurities, negative thoughts and habits. Words are powerful

We use words and experiences as excuses about why can’t do things, why we act a certain way, why we aren’t capable of doing XYZ and we really let these words and thoughts dictate our lives. You didn’t get into your first choice university so you think you’re stupid, a bully called you ugly so you think you’re ugly, you think you can’t wake up on time so you’re always late. You don’t think you’ll ever have enough money so you scramble at the end of the month. You get it. You own up to these negative thoughts and behaviors, and it shapes your reality. 

Take me for example in high school and early twenties: “I have ADD so I can’t pay attention or get anything done”. “Oh, sorry I’m late I have ADD and I got distracted, my time management sucks.” “I’m not good at XYZ because I have ADD and I can’t pay attention”, the list goes on and on. Do you know how long I used this as an excuse? Years. I could live up to this forever. I could use ADD as an excuse for forgetting about plans, having a messy room, not finishing tasks, being late, not paying attention in conversation, etc. etc.

I truly believe when I stopped saying it out loud, all of a sudden life got way more organized and a lot of stress disappeared. Instead of saying, “I have ADD *insert excuse here*”, I’d say, “I’m so punctual. I’m so organized. I’m so focused” … I didn’t really believe it at first, but I faked it. It’s not to say I didn’t put action into place, but saying the positive words and what I strived to be sure made it easier to believe. Did I still try really hard to have a tidy room, be on time, finish tasks? Yes, (I still try really hard). But the difference is now I say and believe I can do it, instead of I can’t. When I said I couldn’t, I simply couldn’t, I didn’t even give myself a chance. 

My interpretation of “letting go of what no longer serves” you hides in letting go of words that no longer serve you. 

Here’s the thing. You don’t actually have to believe it at first. It can kind of be a joke. You can look in the mirror and say, “I love you, I think you’re beautiful, you’re going to have a great day”, even though you may look in the mirror and think, damn girl, you look tired, your hair looks bad, and your sweater is old. Just push that negative thing away and say the nice thing. Fake smile at yourself in the mirror, you may actually laugh at yourself because you think you’re so cheesy. It works. Your subconscious can’t tell the difference between a joke or if you’re being serious, and you can use that as a super power or a super downer!!!

Once you start to pinpoint the words and thoughts that really wear you down, you can start to let it go, so that you can be free of those things that bring you down. TO FEEL A LITTLE MORE FREE. YES. That’s the frickin’ money, honey. WHY hold on to the past? You wake up every morning, why not be renewed with fresh and exhilaratingly positive words?

How to throw away old beliefs and negative thoughts:

  1. Focus on what you WANT to be, not the things you *currently* think you are
  2. Write down things you think and say to yourself daily. Do you have thoughts like, “I’m dumb, I’m always late, I’m indecisive, I’m so unorganized, I don’t care, I don’t have enough time to work out, life sucks, I hate traffic, I can’t save money, I never have enough money, I’m fat, I’m ugly, I don’t have enough time, there’s never enough time in the day”…Write down all the negative things you say and think about yourself. BE HONEST.
  3. Write down things you want to say, think, and believe about yourself. “I love you. I’m beautiful. I’m going to have a great day even if there’s traffic. I’m so organized. I’m so timely. There is so much love in my life. I’m rich af, I have great hair, I have time to do yoga. life is awesome, I’m so good at my job, I have all the time in the world, I have so much time” 
  4. SAY WHAT YOU WANT OUT LOUD. EVERY DAY. “I’M HAVING SUCH A GOOD DAY. I’M SO ORGANIZED, I’M SO PUNCTUAL.”
  5. Smile at yourself in the mirror and say I LOVE YOU 🙂
  6. MEDITATE + JOURNAL

YOUR INSECURITIES AND NEGATIVE THOUGHTS can haunt you for the rest of your life, unless you come to realize it’s all made up in your head and you can reframe your mind. Here’s to letting stagnant thoughts and beliefs go. Who’s with me?

MUCH LOVE, #meditatedaily

Letting go

Captured by @totalsoulfuljourney on Instagram

KYLA ROSE ROCCHI

All pictures photographed by @totalsoulfuljourney

 

Inspiration, Not Pressure

If you’re anything like me, you have what seems like a million ideas and goals for what you want to pursue. You start, love it for a month or two, then the excitement fades. You’re left with another unfinished project and await the excitement of “what’s next”, while also feeling quite guilty because you gave up. Frankly, the only reason I’m writing this is because I want to follow through with something I started. I had a goal of writing in this blog once a week. I haven’t written for about a month. If I wait any longer, it’ll be another failed blog (I’ve had at least 3 in the last few years) and another sad story about not following through with a project that once brought me joy. So here it is.

goal
/ɡōl/
noun
the object of a person’s ambition or effort; an aim or desired result.
-New Oxford American Dictionary

I’m not an overly consistent person, I wake up when I feel like it, I’m at times paralyzing-ly indecisive, and am in no way a type A personality. I’m very spontaneous with my time, where my mind goes, and what my interests are in the moment. I love having fun, doing physical activities, being social music, arts, spirituality… all THOSE goods. Writing in a blog once a week is tough for me, but it’s a challenge I put on myself because it makes me feel good. I miss having little assignments like in college. I like to think it keeps ya sharp.

(For the record, I find those traits attractive and inspiring. My husband is opposite of what I explained I’m not, aka super type A and I love it and him more than anything. Opposites attract 😊)

I’ve definitely reached milestone goals like graduating from college, traveling a lot of the world, learning a few languages, getting married, getting my yoga teaching certificate, teaching, starting a side hustle, etc. I know what I want, and I trust things will work out. You probably won’t find me with a 5 year plan written in extreme detail, though I agree there’s something to be said about always having goals, and goals make life more fun. I also believe that “over planning kills magic”). So there’s a fine line here =)

“Move from a place of inspiration instead of pressure”

This quote changed my life last year. I was literally ill and flared up for a long, long time. A truly amazing woman told me to move from a place of inspiration instead of pressure. I let a lot of shit go and opened my eyes to this new concept. As simple as it is, I think this whole not being consistent with this blog thing comes down to the notion of unnecessary, self-induced pressure. I’ve been so worried about perfection and being indecisive about a niche that I just didn’t write…the feeling was waaaaay too familiar. I couldn’t let another project just vanish. 1. I don’t actually need a niche. 2. I need to remind myself this is for fun, so I’m creating unnecessary pressure about something that’s a hobby. Pressure sucks the fun out of it! Does not make any sense, right? I’m practicing consistency and self-accountability, and I love sharing what I’ve learned with others.

Why I write:

Writing in a way that clearly communicates my thoughts and makes sense to others in turn helps me organize my thoughts and how I’m feeling. It helps me reflect on important things I’ve learned, and I like to share what has helped me in life so perhaps someone can take that tip or trick and enhance their own lives. It’s fulfilling when you get a message saying, “Thank you for sharing, I tried XYZ and it’s awesome”. That makes me FEEL GOOD. It inspires me to share more! It’s the best part about being on social media and the internet. Sometimes I’m like, oh, I’m sharing way too much. I shouldn’t share so much. The other half of me is like, you’ve come a long way and have learned so much, it’s a shame if you kept it all to yourself. Not much is more fulfilling than helping others.

“Do it now”

This motto coincidently showed up and slapped me in the face the first week of January:“Have the Do It Now Mentality”. I’m a do it later kinda person, and this just stuck. And it’s been my thing this month. And I’ve effing loved it. If you’re looking for a new years resolution, DO IT NOW instead of later has been amaze balls. And it’s not all about DO DO DO GO GO GO… 2 days ago I decided I was going to have the “do it now mentality” about taking a break, lying on my foam roller, and just chillin in my living room. I needed that too. It works for getting shit done AND relaxing. That’s the best!!!! Those are the words that got me to write this, right now.

Respect Yo’self

Virtues that gain the respect of others are usually things like being timely, asking questions, making plans, setting dates, caring, saying/doing nice things for others, the list goes on and on. When you really think about it, it doesn’t make sense we do anything and everything for others, but can’t keep a promise to ourselves. If you’re having trouble following through on a project, goal, or something you just want to pursue like a dance class or hanging pictures up, Take 5 minutes and figure out how you can do it. Get over the fact you don’t know where to start and just… start. Do it now. Set the goal. Set a date. Take the time. Be on time. You’re really important and so is the love and respect you can GAIN FOR YOURSELF. You can literally GAIN (MORE) RESPECT. FOR YOURSELF. That’s amazing. Sitting here writing this is helping me gain more respect, which in turn helps me LUUUUURV myself.

Remember, your goal is your desired result. It’s something you actually want. You want it because it will make you FEEL GOOD. YES. Reaching your goals are fulfilling, they help set you up for success, they urge you to try things you’ve always wanted to try, make you feel damn good about yourself on the way there and once you hit it. INSPIRE YOURSELF. If not now, when?

Here’s to following through❤️ Hashtag selflove

A friend sent me a cool quote that I’ll leave you with,

“First, aiming to meditate most days rather than every day, is a good goal. Consistency counts-the more often you meditate, the easier it gets and the deeper and more enduring the benefits-but if you miss a day, your inner critic won’t have a chance to call you a failure. I call this approach “daily-ish.” It has elasticity, or ‘”psychological flexibility,” a key concept from behavior-change research, which can help lead to an abiding habit, be it a meditation practice, a new gym routine, or a commitment to learn Esperanto.”

 

Siempre con amor, all the love,

Kyla

 

 

PS Thank you for reading this semi all over the place post. Until next week. Some pics from Florida

-The Alchemist

12 Feel Good Gifts

Hi Pals, 

It can be so hard to figure out the “perfect gift” for someone special. You think and think and wonder if your gift will be a hit, and hope they don’t fake it when they say they love it. We’ve all been there!

Whether you’re brainstorming the perfect gift or want to treat yourself, here are a few of my favorite feel good gifts! Think warm, cozy, and all very usable 🙂

THIS ROBE. I live in my robe!!! It’s the first thing I put on in the morning and the last thing I take off at night. So so good and is great for cold weather places!

You can’t go wrong with a warm fuzzy blanket. It’s just such a great idea. Who doesn’t love blankets?

For the bath taker… wow. This is the perfect set up. If they need a little more relaxation in their lives and currently don’t take baths, this may be their little nudge to start!

A perfectly great read.

Ah… another great read.

Essential oil diffuser anyone? Fill their home with scents to help with calming, energizing, or whatever they need!

ALSO for the bath lover!!!

If you live somewhere in the world where it can get a little dark like Seattle, this is great for waking up. Light simulating alarm clock!

This one is downright awesome. It’s a lamp, a bluetooth speaker, and a wireless charger. Another great “who wouldn’t love this” gift.

Do they need this for their home/work desk, or just need a little more fuzzy in their life?

Last but not least, teddy coat!! These are trending tough and are very warm and cozy

Bonus idea! Jewelry is a timeless gift that lasts forever! If you’re looking to really make a statement check out @olympicjewelry on Instagram, online Olympic Jewelry  or if you’re in the Seattle area, stop by the shop in Fremont an ask for me 🙂

Any of these gifts would make me super happy, so I’m sharing the love, especially if you’re still racking your brain for fun ideas- Christmas is just a week away!!! Happy shopping and much love!!

Back to Fitness with Fibromyalgia

Hey ya’ll. I was feeling down and out the last few days, so tired, so much brain fog. Physical activity (walking, pilates, yoga) for 4 days in a row set me over the edge to a flare up. Just when you think you’re on top of the world and back at life, noooo honay. Think again!

I think one of the hardest things about managing fibromyalgia is energy exertion, as there’s a fine line between what’s too much and what’s not enough. Like all humans, energy out requires x amount of rest. I’m learning this new formula for my body through trial and error, like most things in life 😉 sharing a few tips later in this post.

Tips for Fibromyalgia

Getting back into a fitness routine after my 2018 New Years resolution was to NOT work out (to heal my body) is a bit tricky to figure out. From working out 6-7 days a week to negative zero has been interesting to say the least, and I’m so grateful I’m at a point where I can plan for 2-3 days a week of pilates, walking, and a little yoga here and there.

My relationship with fitness is changing, as it’s not ONLY to be healthy or fit in the now. I’m thinking about my future body, my body in 20 or 30 or 40 years. I have to take care of it the right way if I want it to take care of me later. I’m starting from the bottom. #foundation I’m seeing all of this as a blessing.

So, what is fibromyalgia?

Turns out it means you’re a bit sensitive. From the Mayo Clinic,

Fibromyalgia is a disorder characterized by widespread musculoskeletal pain accompanied by fatigue, sleep, memory and mood issues. Researchers believe that fibromyalgia amplifies painful sensations by affecting the way your brain processes pain signals.

Symptoms sometimes begin after a physical trauma, surgery, infection or significant psychological stress. In other cases, symptoms gradually accumulate over time with no single triggering event.

Ok- amplifies painful sensations.

When I was in physical therapy I worked with very light weights. My first day I was in so much pain doing the exercises I told her I didn’t think I should do it. She looked at me and said, “I understand this hurts, but it’s only 2.5 pounds, so it technically shouldn’t. Your very sensitive.” She told me pain in the body is experienced as muscle tears, and I definitely wasn’t tearing any muscles. I was like what? ITS FAKE PAIN?

She then explained to me a little about fibromyalgia. “Think of a car that has a really sensitive alarm. You barley touch it and the alarm goes off (fibromyalgia) then think about a regular car, it goes off if someone’s trying to break in or damages it (non fibro person).” Ooooooooooo…. okay. That made sense.

One of the best things for fibromyalgia pain IS LIGHT EXERCISE. If you have fibromyalgia or are getting back into a fitness routine (or starting one for the first time!) all I can say is be conservative.

It takes very little movement and weight to stimulate the little muscles and for you to feel better. When I’m hurting, the best thing to do is my PT (which I do from home. I use bands).

My tips for getting your fitness back with fibromyalgia:

•START SMALL. Do you have PT exercises? Do them! And oh my gosh if you haven’t done PT please do it, and stick to it. I’m now at a point where pilates is my PT, some form of light weight, functional & controlled movement, that you can do at least 2-3 times per week.

•Stay consistent with sleep, food, and water. You’re gonna have to baby yourself quite a bit. But REST and nourishment is what ya need. (This is the hardest thing for me.)

•Work your way up! If you’re anything like me and fitness is a hobby, it can be very strange to start from the beginning. Think of it as having a solid foundation. You’ll most likely be able to do what you were doing before (maybe not as often or at the same intensity). You’ll learn so much about your body movements and what makes you hurt or flare. Be aware of what makes you flare. lol.

•IF IT HURTS, stop doing it. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve continued to do a workout because I think I should be able to, and am in tears the next day. It’s not worth it.

•Be Conservative. If you’re struggling with getting back on the workout train, be very conservative. It’s all about trial and error and every body is different. While I experience that I can work out 3 days a week max, you might be at a point where you can work our 5, or starting at 1.

•Meet yourself where you are. There’s truly no point in living in the past and wishes you could do what you used to do without being in pain. First, think back, were those exercises really pain free? Second, its not worth holding on to the past. Meet yourself where you are every single day. 

Learning how to manage Fibromyalgia isn’t the easiest thing and a lot of it is a mind game. “Should I, Should I Not?” Push yourself, but don’t push too hard. Easier said than done, I know. Through trial and error you will figure it out…I believe understanding our bodies’ limits is ever evolving, and Fibromyalgia is just another spin on it. Hoping the magic formula will present itself 😉

5 Actionable Tools for Mindful Eating

How many times have you looked down at your plate thought, “where my did all my food go? I don’t remember eating it…” It almost makes you sad because you were so excited for the meal and didn’t even enjoy the taste! This has definitely happened to me, either because I was on my phone or chatting with the person in front of me. It’s kinda like when you get in the car and don’t know how you got from point A to point B. Mindless and dazed. That’s kinda weird and I can’t be the only one it happens to.

Mindful Eating

Mindfulness has become such a buzz word! It’s something we hear often and don’t necessarily know how to do. Simply saying, “be mindful”, isn’t going to make you more mindful. With the “most wonderful time of the year” approaching, which includes dinner parties, snacks, drinks, sweets, and pretty much everything based around eating. The key is to be aware- (MINDFUL does not always mean HEALTHY)- it just means you’re aware of your food and your body. Cuz most of us are gonna have that extra cookie.

Screen Shot 2018-11-19 at 10.06.31 PM.png

Although food is fuel for our bodies, we have taken this concept and ran waaaaaay too far. Many of us no longer see food as fuel but as something our eyes and taste buds want, putting our bodies in an unhealthy place. On the flip side, some people don’t eat enough, also resulting in an unhealthy place. When we look at food in a simple way, and incorporate mindful eating habits, our relationship with food becomes something a little more than eating for pleasure.

Here’s 5 Tips for Mindful Eating:

1. Think about where your food comes from. What does the plant that it grew on look like? (Google it if you don’t know). What process did it go through? Who touched it? Was it on a truck or boat? Visualize the process of how it got to your plate. See the colors, feel the texture with your hands or utensils. Smell it, taste the flavor. Love that nature could give this to you (or a scientist from a food lab lol).

2. Think about the food nourishing and fueling your body. It gives you physical and mental energy, brain food, hydration. Also be aware of what it does to your physical body. Do apples and grapes make your finger swell from the sugar? Does wine make your face flush? Even if it’s not the healthiest of foods, be aware of salt and sugar and what it does to your body, what makes you feel full or bloated.

3. Chew your food fully! Eat at a good pace, not too fast, not too slow. It’s better for digestion.

4. Stay clear of distractions like the cell phone, reading, TV, Instagram, etc. You want to remember your cherished meal!

5. Above all, thank your food. You can show gratitude by saying thank you out loud or to yourself. Gratitude is number one when showing appreciation. Food = Fuel for your body! Nothing can take the place of that. 

 

Mindful Eating lifebykyla

Eating mindfully 100% of the time is probably not the most possible thing, especially if you’re on a date or having a meal with others. But getting into the habit of putting some of these tips into action and expressing gratitude before your meal can make all the difference. Kudos if you can a breather during your meal and be aware of how you feel and bring awareness to your plate again.

Peace Love & Happy Holidays 🙂

Follow me on Instagram! @lifebykylarose

The Diet Mindset

Diet. Oh shit, does that word make you cringe? Does it take you back to bad memories or is it something you’re constantly on? Diet has become an interesting word to me. A word I used to associate with yo-yo diets, deprivation, and total stress and frustration. Now I see it in a totally different way.

The truth is we’re all on a diet, whether it’s a champagne diet, keto diet, vegan diet, anti inflammatory diet, or just eat what your body wants diet. Whatever you eat is your diet. Animals in the wild have diets, fish in the sea have diets 😉

Some of us aren’t aware of our diets, and others are hyper focused on it.  It can help us feel better, can be a mind f*ck, can be detrimental to our mental and physical health, or the most beautiful thing we have ever done for our bodies and minds. Diets can bring up feelings of stress, guilt, trauma, OR confidence, power, and self love. So there’s a lot going on here.

As someone whose experienced all of the ups and downs of diets, and now has a fantastic relationship with the word, changing my mindset has been the most important.

I’m always experimenting with a new diet for the goal of feeling better. Besides my phase of unhealthy yo-yo diets and having a weird relationship with food (lasted a number of years…) I’ve eaten a mostly healthy and mediterranean diet. Now having been diagnosed with two autoimmune diseases, the last few years I’ve been experimenting a lot. I was vegan for almost 2 years, I’ve been on the anti-inflammatory diet, egg free, dairy free, and gluten free diets. Now currently grain free.

I have a few options of how I can approach this beautiful diet:

  1. Feel sorry for myself because everyone else “can” eat bread, pasta, pizza, brownies, etc.
  2. Know this diet is a choice I made and be happy because there’s so many others food I can eat. Discipline is huge here.
  3. Skip the rules I put on myself. If I want the brownie, I’ll eat the brownie (without feeling guilty and enjoying the F out of it). It may set back what I’ve done so far, but I think it’s worth it at the time.

The most beautiful thing about a diet is that ultimately, it’s your choice. If your doctor prescribes a certain diet for your health, it’s still your choice whether you do it or not. If you want to lose weight, you decided that was your goal and now you’re substituting apples for cheetos. For sure it can be testing at times (if not all the time), but it’s a commitment you made to yourself to… feel better, right?

Do you know how amazing it is that we even have a choice? We get to decide what we eat and don’t eat. We get to be snobby and bougie about not eating an apple because we’re keto, or saying no to a piece of bread that others would fight over. That’s a huge privilege considering so many people in this world do not have food or water at their disposal. Yet alone a diet choice. They drink contaminated water to try and stay alive, and here we are complaining we can’t have freaking dairy, gluten, or processed sugar.

If you get a bad feeling when you hear the word diet or can’t stand the thought of yourself consciously being on one, remember it’s all in your head and it’s your choice. Maybe you eat well and you feel great! That’s amazing! And maybe you want to make a change and don’t know where to start. You don’t have to go in all at once. Start small and remember it’s your choice to ultimately feel better and have a better life. This will help the word “diet” have a friendlier presence for you.

P.S. Diets takes a lot of planning, and it’s so easy to set yourself up for failure if you make a drastic diet change and don’t plan for it. A lot of people have such bad experiences with their diets because they end up REALLY hungry and sabotaging their diet because they’re not prepared with the right food for them. To me, the hardest part of a diet is the first week and about a month in. You question, is this really doing anything? Stick to it!

What I did to make my Fibromyalgia Symptoms Disappear

What I I did to make my Fibromyalgia Symptoms Disappear

That’s a bold statement, I know. But 5 months after being diagnosed with Fibromyalgia, my physical pain has pretty much vanished, it’s true!!! I’m still experiencing fatigue and brain fog, and minor body pains, but I’m slowly incorporating a consistent schedule of walking, pilates and a little bit of yoga back into my weekly routine. This is a big deal for me considering since January I physically couldn’t do much.

Alleviating my physical pain didn’t just happen over night. And here’s a secret, my mental state was showing itself in the physical form of Fibromyalgia. Say what?! YES. Mental health and physical health go hand in hand. It wasn’t until so much unnecessary stress and pressure built up and I found myself crying in bed for months before I decided this wasn’t normal and I had to deal with it. I did A LOT of internal work that was not easy, but I’ll confidently tell you I haven’t felt this good since I was a single digit year old (8 or so). That’s pretty wild. This really really works.

I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia in May of 2018. It’s now November 2018. My body and mind have never felt better.

Here’s what I did to make my physical fibromyalgia symptoms disappear:

MEDITATE

The one thing I did every single day while I was in bed for months was meditate. It didn’t matter if I was awake for 20 minutes or a few hours, I meditated in bed. Meditating does something magical as it helps you quiet your mind. You might be thinking, ok, I’m in bed all day too, I’m dealing with brain fog, and it’s quiet. But meditating is different. Conscious awareness is the key difference here.

Being aware of your breath, the mantra, your body, is all key. Meditating helps you reflect on your life and how you got here, it helps you let go of negative feelings you have about yourself and others, and it helps you figure out what’s important in your life and what’s not. Just like when you sleep and dream, meditating helps sift through, filter, and make more sense of your thoughts.

If you don’t have a way to release all of your thoughts, one day your brain (or body if you have fibro), might just explode. Find a good app like headspace or calm, or start with youtube videos. You can also find my guided meditations on my IGTV @lifebykylarose.

JOURNAL

Like meditating, you will understand a little bit more about yourself.  If you don’t know where to start, read my post about how to start journaling.

There’s no right or wrong way to journal! Just write, something so amazing will happen. I usually journal immediately after (sometimes before) I meditate. I meditate, understand my thoughts, then write them down. Sometimes it helps me find closure, sometimes it prompts me to dig deeper. Getting to know yourself is HUGE! Fibromyalgia has interesting, very painful, debilitating ways of showing itself. For me, I had to really dissect every aspect of my life. My journal(s) have been a safe space to for that.

GET A COACH

I don’t know where I’d be without my coach! I happen to have a spiritual/life coach because that speaks to me. She encompasses everything- mindset, accountability, helping me let go of pressure, societal and unnecessary expectations I have of myself, uncovering why I flare and what stresses me out, helping me discover my purpose, and is just an awesome human being.

At first I was a bit hesitant. I was scared of opening up and dealing with it, because I knew those thoughts weren’t the healthiest.  I knew deep down it was in my best interest to stop resisting. If I wanted to heal and get better, I needed to DECIDE & COMMIT to myself, to explore the best relationship with myself and my perception of life.  I was ready to do the “dirty work” to feel better. I am forever grateful. We went from weekly calls for the first 4 months, to monthly calls now. It’s wonderful. 

*You have to be willing to do the internal work. Simply having a coach is not going to help. It’s not easy by any means, but is transformational, life changing.

BREATHE FRESH AIR

I would love to say go on a walk every day, but I completely understand this is not always available to the body. There was a time earlier this year where I could barely walk one time around the track without tears starting to roll off my face. Fibro pressure is real. Go on your balcony, or get dressed and go downstairs or outside. Something about the air is so good. JUST BREATHE. (And walk as often as you can, only if it feels good. There is no shame in walking for 5 minutes if that’s what you can handle that day).

NOURISH YOUR BODY

Nourish your body with a lot of water and good, whole foods. It’s so easy to go for the pre packaged meal, but especially during a flare up, feed your body and mind the good stuff! Please! A good organic shake is easy to make packed with greens and fruits. Quinoa, salads, fruits, veggies, high quality protein. Nourishment is key.

MEET YOURSELF WHERE YOU ARE

For sure easier said than done. It’s way too easy to feel guilty and beat yourself up for being in bed all day. Understand this will pass IF you put in the work to figure out what is making your body scream for help. Mental pains translate to physical pains. It may take months, it may take longer. But feeling guilty and ashamed is only going to prolong the process. I resisted for about a year. I’d find myself doing yoga flows crying, telling myself “I should be able to do this”. I totally did not meet myself where I was. Take it day by day.

IT STARTS WITH YOU 🙂

You don’t have to do everything at once! I’d start with meditating or journaling. I cannot express enough HOW important this is to healing and living the best life you can live. Your body is screaming at you because it wants to tell you something- something you’re doing is NOT working, and it’s time to dig deep, reflect, let go, and move forward. You CAN FEEL BETTER. I PROMISE YOU CAN FEEL BETTER. IT ALL STARTS WITH YOU, IN YOUR MIND. 

MUCH LOVE <3

If you have any questions please do not hesitate to reach out! Leave a comment or a DM on Instagram @lifebykylarose

How to Start Journaling

How to Start Journaling & Why: Journal Tips & Ideas

I’ve had quite a few people ask me how to journal, what to write about, if there’s a right or wrong way to do it. Journaling is a very personal and intimate thing, and the good news is there’s no wrong way to do it- everything about it is RIGHT! Wahoo. It’s a safe and sacred space to write your thoughts, emotions, what’s working, what’s not, and helps you take a step back and realize what’s going on in your life. 

Essentially journaling is a way to get your thoughts out. Many times you don’t even know those thoughts exists before your pen touches the paper. It’s a way to let go, explore feelings, find closure, among many more beautiful things. Just like when we dream or meditate, our mind sifts through our thoughts, filters them, and leaves us with the most important thoughts or wake up calls. Journaling does the same.

For me, writing helps me understand myself a little (a lot) better. I see patterns in my life based on what I write. It helps me release and organize my ideas. I learn more about what makes me happy and what doesn’t. It’s a very cleansing tool.

My mind makes so much more sense when I write it out.

I’ll admit, I find myself writing a lot more when I am in periods of deep reflection or when I’m not feeling so hot. Like I said, it helps me organize my thoughts, so when I’m upset or frustrated, I can understand WHY and take it from there. I’m trying to journal every day so it’s not just when I’m feeling a certain type of way! I’m realizing though, when you journal and you’re on cloud 9, it’s an awesome tool because you realize WHY you’re feeling so good and it makes you more GRATEFUL!

One of the best tips is to JUST WRITE! Without judgement. Just keep writing, fast, no filter, write write write. Write like no one’s reading (because they’re not, unless you show them). If you don’t feel like writing, doodle, just get the pen to paper and magic will happen 🙂

Journaling is supposed to feel good. Get get a pen you love writing with and a journal you like. Not much is worse than doing some personal development on bad paper and a pen that leaks or doesn’t work. I personally love soft paper and currently writing on Moleskin.

 

Journaling Ideas for the Seasoned or Beginner:

  • Gratitude. What are you grateful for? Can be as simple as your breath, water,  someone, or something.  I also love the 5 minute journal, it’s a great place to start if you’ve never journaled before. If you’ve been journaling a while and want to mix it up, that’s cool too. I don’t think it fully takes the place of journaling but it’s great for routine, reflection, and gratitude.  You can buy it here 🙂
  • Write about your last day or 2
  • Write down your dreams
  • Write your thoughts and emotions
  • Examine your relationship with others
  • If you’re happy, what’s going well?
  • If your upset, why?
  • Do you feel anxious about anything?
  • Do you keep thinking about something in the past? Write it down.
  • Upcoming goals?
  • What creative areas do you want to explore?
  • Do you want to try a new hobby or take a new class? 
  • Map out your ideal life and lifestyle

Even if you don’t know the answer to these questions, journaling can help you figure it out. Just get your pen to paper.

Self expression and looking inward are all the rage right now and journaling is a great way to achieve both. Journaling helps you take a step back and be like “huh, I’m feeling this way”, and gets you a little closer to understanding yourself, your life, and the relationship you have with yourself and others. It’s not always glam by any means, but I can assure you, you won’t say “I regret journaling” … unless it makes you late to work or something. Otherwise, it’s a great tool to have in your back pocket for the life journey.

 

Love love love,

Kyla

 

Meditation Tips for People who Hate Meditating

It’s time to rethink your relationship to this amazing relaxation technique we call meditating. There’s one little shift you can bring to your daily life that can turn routine into meditations. Something so simple we do unconsciously, if you can make it conscious, then you can meditate. Please be excited. But first (let me take a selfie): 

What’s setting you up for failure when it comes to meditating is what you think it is. 

We’ve all seen pictures of Buddha, sitting for hours under the Bodhi tree awaiting enlightenment, so of course you think you have to sit still for hours in complete silence. 

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While this is a form of meditation, it’s not the only way. Just like there are many genres of music, there are many genres of meditating. This post will focus on the breath. Our bodies naturally take deep breaths in times of stress. Isn’t that a sign that we would benefit from more conscious breathing?

Meditating is actually just chillin’, just “being” present, aware, without judgment to your thoughts.

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@oleksypepino

Here are 4 tips on meditating for people who hate meditating:

1. BREATHE. It all starts with the breath. If you can consciously breath wherever you are in whatever you’re doing, you’ve got it down. As long as you are breathing CONSCIOUSLY and you’re AWARE and it’s ON PURPOSE 🙂 Also, don’t get stressed or caught up in thinking you don’t have enough time to meditate. You have time. One breath takes one second, and sometimes that’s all you need.Imagine air filling up and emptying from your lungs. Wake up, take 10 breaths, then get out of bed. Sit down at office chair, take 3 deep breaths, turn on computer. Easy, you got this. 

2. MOVEMENT. Think of being in the zone. Yoga is a great example of moving meditation as the premise is one breath to one movement. Walking meditation is a thing too. Cycling, swimming, running, qi gong, tai chi, dance, and many forms of physical activity can be meditative. I consider it a moving meditation if you are conscious of and able to keep your breath consistent while rhythmically moving  #flowstate. Just observe your breath, hear it, feel it, inhale, exhale… 

(These activities can be done meditatively or non-meditatively, just remember if you walk everyday, even on your way to work, you can be conscious of your breath, and that is considered meditating. Talking on the phone and walking is not considered “walking meditatively”.)

3. STRETCH. Restorative poses feel so good in the morning or after a day’s work. Child’s pose, supine twist, legs up the wall, lying on the floor with a pillow under your knees. You can count your breath to 10 or 20 and switch sides. 

4. SIT. Yes, like the picture of Buddha under the tree. This has the least distractions and can also be the most difficult. Find a comfortable seat and breathe. Count your breath, say a mantra, put on soothing meditative music from youtube, just be. Also remember, you don’t have “good” or “bad” meditations. They just are. (They can be difficult because you didn’t feel like you could focus, or really great because you had an epiphany, but please don’t label them as bad. Cuz they all good baby.)

Take these tips and see how you can incorporate more consciousness into your daily routine. If you’re really feeling it, whip out your journal or notes in your phone and start writing. My next post will be how to start journaling, so I’ll catch you there!

Thank you for reading.

All my love- Kyla

If you liked it, share it! You can also follow me on Instagram @lifebykylarose

PS (I dislike using the word hate but I thought it would grab your attention. I say “dislike” or “don’t care for” instead =) ) 

Princess Lessons from Fibro

If you want to live a beautiful, relaxed, stress free life, get an autoimmune disease.

Here’s why:

Autoimmune diseases that put you on your butt and in bed for x amount of time usually show themselves because of stress. Some sort of mental or physical trauma that our bodies are like “ok- we have to unleash. We can’t contain it anymore. Body and mind are too stressed and can’t function enjoyably/properly so it’s time to rest until further notice”.

Ring a bell?

People (blessed with autoimmune stuff) are not supposed to live this way of “high stress”. Sure, fight or flight is really what humans are bread for, but, it’s just not for us, and some higher power- or our subconscious- KNOWS this. So we are put on our beautiful asses to REFLECT about how we live our lives, what’s important, what’s not, learning boundaries, limits, and when and where to power through. Until this happens, (for me anyway), we will stay where we are, in pain and confused.

If we only have so much time on this earth, in the midst of sleeping and dealing with brain fog and other weird stuff, it becomes crucial our thoughts are focused on the good things and our lifestyle is focused on things that matter to us (beautiful relationships, purposeful work, love, nourishment, sunshine etc.)  I’d argue this applies to any human who wants to live life with abundance.

✨I’ve learned it’s not worth living a high stress life because I’ll FLARE UP.✨

If I don’t communicate clearly, say what’s on my mind, take time for myself, let things go, take things personally, don’t have routine, don’t get enough rest, etc., my body will tense up and I’ll be in a buttload of pain. If I don’t set up my days to be peaceful, fun, purposeful… it’s bad news!  And hey, that’s a good lesson if you ask me. I know fibromyalgia is a blessing and a wake up call. I am thankful I’m learning these lessons now.

In the magical world of princesses, you have a beautiful life full of butterflies and pixy dust. Relaxed, Simple, Peaceful, On Purpose, Loving, Success, Working on what matters, Spending time on what’s important to you.

Know you can live a magical life under most circumstances between jobs and families and obligations. It comes down to how you choose to respond to these things 🙂 (That’s a totally different post.) This princess life is magical and made up, just like your life. It’s all a #CHOICE and perspective of how you want to live. How you respond to the world IS YOUR WORLD.

So, please don’t actually seek out an autoimmune disease or a breakdown. Stress isn’t worth it. Be proactive and do some reflecting about where you are currently. What stresses you out? Can you change it, or your relationship to it? What’s working? What’s not? What’s important to you? Are you living life on purpose? What can you change that’s in your control? Ask away, and you shall receive🧡

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Love,

Fibro Princess Kyla