12 Feel Good Gifts

Hi Pals, 

It can be so hard to figure out the “perfect gift” for someone special. You think and think and wonder if your gift will be a hit, and hope they don’t fake it when they say they love it. We’ve all been there!

Whether you’re brainstorming the perfect gift or want to treat yourself, here are a few of my favorite feel good gifts! Think warm, cozy, and all very usable 🙂

THIS ROBE. I live in my robe!!! It’s the first thing I put on in the morning and the last thing I take off at night. So so good and is great for cold weather places!

You can’t go wrong with a warm fuzzy blanket. It’s just such a great idea. Who doesn’t love blankets?

For the bath taker… wow. This is the perfect set up. If they need a little more relaxation in their lives and currently don’t take baths, this may be their little nudge to start!

A perfectly great read.

Ah… another great read.

Essential oil diffuser anyone? Fill their home with scents to help with calming, energizing, or whatever they need!

ALSO for the bath lover!!!

If you live somewhere in the world where it can get a little dark like Seattle, this is great for waking up. Light simulating alarm clock!

This one is downright awesome. It’s a lamp, a bluetooth speaker, and a wireless charger. Another great “who wouldn’t love this” gift.

Do they need this for their home/work desk, or just need a little more fuzzy in their life?

Last but not least, teddy coat!! These are trending tough and are very warm and cozy

Bonus idea! Jewelry is a timeless gift that lasts forever! If you’re looking to really make a statement check out @olympicjewelry on Instagram, online Olympic Jewelry  or if you’re in the Seattle area, stop by the shop in Fremont an ask for me 🙂

Any of these gifts would make me super happy, so I’m sharing the love, especially if you’re still racking your brain for fun ideas- Christmas is just a week away!!! Happy shopping and much love!!

Back to Fitness with Fibromyalgia

Hey ya’ll. I was feeling down and out the last few days, so tired, so much brain fog. Physical activity (walking, pilates, yoga) for 4 days in a row set me over the edge to a flare up. Just when you think you’re on top of the world and back at life, noooo honay. Think again!

I think one of the hardest things about managing fibromyalgia is energy exertion, as there’s a fine line between what’s too much and what’s not enough. Like all humans, energy out requires x amount of rest. I’m learning this new formula for my body through trial and error, like most things in life 😉 sharing a few tips later in this post.

Tips for Fibromyalgia

Getting back into a fitness routine after my 2018 New Years resolution was to NOT work out (to heal my body) is a bit tricky to figure out. From working out 6-7 days a week to negative zero has been interesting to say the least, and I’m so grateful I’m at a point where I can plan for 2-3 days a week of pilates, walking, and a little yoga here and there.

My relationship with fitness is changing, as it’s not ONLY to be healthy or fit in the now. I’m thinking about my future body, my body in 20 or 30 or 40 years. I have to take care of it the right way if I want it to take care of me later. I’m starting from the bottom. #foundation I’m seeing all of this as a blessing.

So, what is fibromyalgia?

Turns out it means you’re a bit sensitive. From the Mayo Clinic,

Fibromyalgia is a disorder characterized by widespread musculoskeletal pain accompanied by fatigue, sleep, memory and mood issues. Researchers believe that fibromyalgia amplifies painful sensations by affecting the way your brain processes pain signals.

Symptoms sometimes begin after a physical trauma, surgery, infection or significant psychological stress. In other cases, symptoms gradually accumulate over time with no single triggering event.

Ok- amplifies painful sensations.

When I was in physical therapy I worked with very light weights. My first day I was in so much pain doing the exercises I told her I didn’t think I should do it. She looked at me and said, “I understand this hurts, but it’s only 2.5 pounds, so it technically shouldn’t. Your very sensitive.” She told me pain in the body is experienced as muscle tears, and I definitely wasn’t tearing any muscles. I was like what? ITS FAKE PAIN?

She then explained to me a little about fibromyalgia. “Think of a car that has a really sensitive alarm. You barley touch it and the alarm goes off (fibromyalgia) then think about a regular car, it goes off if someone’s trying to break in or damages it (non fibro person).” Ooooooooooo…. okay. That made sense.

One of the best things for fibromyalgia pain IS LIGHT EXERCISE. If you have fibromyalgia or are getting back into a fitness routine (or starting one for the first time!) all I can say is be conservative.

It takes very little movement and weight to stimulate the little muscles and for you to feel better. When I’m hurting, the best thing to do is my PT (which I do from home. I use bands).

My tips for getting your fitness back with fibromyalgia:

•START SMALL. Do you have PT exercises? Do them! And oh my gosh if you haven’t done PT please do it, and stick to it. I’m now at a point where pilates is my PT, some form of light weight, functional & controlled movement, that you can do at least 2-3 times per week.

•Stay consistent with sleep, food, and water. You’re gonna have to baby yourself quite a bit. But REST and nourishment is what ya need. (This is the hardest thing for me.)

•Work your way up! If you’re anything like me and fitness is a hobby, it can be very strange to start from the beginning. Think of it as having a solid foundation. You’ll most likely be able to do what you were doing before (maybe not as often or at the same intensity). You’ll learn so much about your body movements and what makes you hurt or flare. Be aware of what makes you flare. lol.

•IF IT HURTS, stop doing it. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve continued to do a workout because I think I should be able to, and am in tears the next day. It’s not worth it.

•Be Conservative. If you’re struggling with getting back on the workout train, be very conservative. It’s all about trial and error and every body is different. While I experience that I can work out 3 days a week max, you might be at a point where you can work our 5, or starting at 1.

•Meet yourself where you are. There’s truly no point in living in the past and wishes you could do what you used to do without being in pain. First, think back, were those exercises really pain free? Second, its not worth holding on to the past. Meet yourself where you are every single day. 

Learning how to manage Fibromyalgia isn’t the easiest thing and a lot of it is a mind game. “Should I, Should I Not?” Push yourself, but don’t push too hard. Easier said than done, I know. Through trial and error you will figure it out…I believe understanding our bodies’ limits is ever evolving, and Fibromyalgia is just another spin on it. Hoping the magic formula will present itself 😉

5 Actionable Tools for Mindful Eating

How many times have you looked down at your plate thought, “where my did all my food go? I don’t remember eating it…” It almost makes you sad because you were so excited for the meal and didn’t even enjoy the taste! This has definitely happened to me, either because I was on my phone or chatting with the person in front of me. It’s kinda like when you get in the car and don’t know how you got from point A to point B. Mindless and dazed. That’s kinda weird and I can’t be the only one it happens to.

Mindful Eating

Mindfulness has become such a buzz word! It’s something we hear often and don’t necessarily know how to do. Simply saying, “be mindful”, isn’t going to make you more mindful. With the “most wonderful time of the year” approaching, which includes dinner parties, snacks, drinks, sweets, and pretty much everything based around eating. The key is to be aware- (MINDFUL does not always mean HEALTHY)- it just means you’re aware of your food and your body. Cuz most of us are gonna have that extra cookie.

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Although food is fuel for our bodies, we have taken this concept and ran waaaaaay too far. Many of us no longer see food as fuel but as something our eyes and taste buds want, putting our bodies in an unhealthy place. On the flip side, some people don’t eat enough, also resulting in an unhealthy place. When we look at food in a simple way, and incorporate mindful eating habits, our relationship with food becomes something a little more than eating for pleasure.

Here’s 5 Tips for Mindful Eating:

1. Think about where your food comes from. What does the plant that it grew on look like? (Google it if you don’t know). What process did it go through? Who touched it? Was it on a truck or boat? Visualize the process of how it got to your plate. See the colors, feel the texture with your hands or utensils. Smell it, taste the flavor. Love that nature could give this to you (or a scientist from a food lab lol).

2. Think about the food nourishing and fueling your body. It gives you physical and mental energy, brain food, hydration. Also be aware of what it does to your physical body. Do apples and grapes make your finger swell from the sugar? Does wine make your face flush? Even if it’s not the healthiest of foods, be aware of salt and sugar and what it does to your body, what makes you feel full or bloated.

3. Chew your food fully! Eat at a good pace, not too fast, not too slow. It’s better for digestion.

4. Stay clear of distractions like the cell phone, reading, TV, Instagram, etc. You want to remember your cherished meal!

5. Above all, thank your food. You can show gratitude by saying thank you out loud or to yourself. Gratitude is number one when showing appreciation. Food = Fuel for your body! Nothing can take the place of that. 

 

Mindful Eating lifebykyla

Eating mindfully 100% of the time is probably not the most possible thing, especially if you’re on a date or having a meal with others. But getting into the habit of putting some of these tips into action and expressing gratitude before your meal can make all the difference. Kudos if you can a breather during your meal and be aware of how you feel and bring awareness to your plate again.

Peace Love & Happy Holidays 🙂

Follow me on Instagram! @lifebykylarose

The Diet Mindset

Diet. Oh shit, does that word make you cringe? Does it take you back to bad memories or is it something you’re constantly on? Diet has become an interesting word to me. A word I used to associate with yo-yo diets, deprivation, and total stress and frustration. Now I see it in a totally different way.

The truth is we’re all on a diet, whether it’s a champagne diet, keto diet, vegan diet, anti inflammatory diet, or just eat what your body wants diet. Whatever you eat is your diet. Animals in the wild have diets, fish in the sea have diets 😉

Some of us aren’t aware of our diets, and others are hyper focused on it.  It can help us feel better, can be a mind f*ck, can be detrimental to our mental and physical health, or the most beautiful thing we have ever done for our bodies and minds. Diets can bring up feelings of stress, guilt, trauma, OR confidence, power, and self love. So there’s a lot going on here.

As someone whose experienced all of the ups and downs of diets, and now has a fantastic relationship with the word, changing my mindset has been the most important.

I’m always experimenting with a new diet for the goal of feeling better. Besides my phase of unhealthy yo-yo diets and having a weird relationship with food (lasted a number of years…) I’ve eaten a mostly healthy and mediterranean diet. Now having been diagnosed with two autoimmune diseases, the last few years I’ve been experimenting a lot. I was vegan for almost 2 years, I’ve been on the anti-inflammatory diet, egg free, dairy free, and gluten free diets. Now currently grain free.

I have a few options of how I can approach this beautiful diet:

  1. Feel sorry for myself because everyone else “can” eat bread, pasta, pizza, brownies, etc.
  2. Know this diet is a choice I made and be happy because there’s so many others food I can eat. Discipline is huge here.
  3. Skip the rules I put on myself. If I want the brownie, I’ll eat the brownie (without feeling guilty and enjoying the F out of it). It may set back what I’ve done so far, but I think it’s worth it at the time.

The most beautiful thing about a diet is that ultimately, it’s your choice. If your doctor prescribes a certain diet for your health, it’s still your choice whether you do it or not. If you want to lose weight, you decided that was your goal and now you’re substituting apples for cheetos. For sure it can be testing at times (if not all the time), but it’s a commitment you made to yourself to… feel better, right?

Do you know how amazing it is that we even have a choice? We get to decide what we eat and don’t eat. We get to be snobby and bougie about not eating an apple because we’re keto, or saying no to a piece of bread that others would fight over. That’s a huge privilege considering so many people in this world do not have food or water at their disposal. Yet alone a diet choice. They drink contaminated water to try and stay alive, and here we are complaining we can’t have freaking dairy, gluten, or processed sugar.

If you get a bad feeling when you hear the word diet or can’t stand the thought of yourself consciously being on one, remember it’s all in your head and it’s your choice. Maybe you eat well and you feel great! That’s amazing! And maybe you want to make a change and don’t know where to start. You don’t have to go in all at once. Start small and remember it’s your choice to ultimately feel better and have a better life. This will help the word “diet” have a friendlier presence for you.

P.S. Diets takes a lot of planning, and it’s so easy to set yourself up for failure if you make a drastic diet change and don’t plan for it. A lot of people have such bad experiences with their diets because they end up REALLY hungry and sabotaging their diet because they’re not prepared with the right food for them. To me, the hardest part of a diet is the first week and about a month in. You question, is this really doing anything? Stick to it!

What I did to make my Fibromyalgia Symptoms Disappear

What I I did to make my Fibromyalgia Symptoms Disappear

That’s a bold statement, I know. But 5 months after being diagnosed with Fibromyalgia, my physical pain has pretty much vanished, it’s true!!! I’m still experiencing fatigue and brain fog, and minor body pains, but I’m slowly incorporating a consistent schedule of walking, pilates and a little bit of yoga back into my weekly routine. This is a big deal for me considering since January I physically couldn’t do much.

Alleviating my physical pain didn’t just happen over night. And here’s a secret, my mental state was showing itself in the physical form of Fibromyalgia. Say what?! YES. Mental health and physical health go hand in hand. It wasn’t until so much unnecessary stress and pressure built up and I found myself crying in bed for months before I decided this wasn’t normal and I had to deal with it. I did A LOT of internal work that was not easy, but I’ll confidently tell you I haven’t felt this good since I was a single digit year old (8 or so). That’s pretty wild. This really really works.

I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia in May of 2018. It’s now November 2018. My body and mind have never felt better.

Here’s what I did to make my physical fibromyalgia symptoms disappear:

MEDITATE

The one thing I did every single day while I was in bed for months was meditate. It didn’t matter if I was awake for 20 minutes or a few hours, I meditated in bed. Meditating does something magical as it helps you quiet your mind. You might be thinking, ok, I’m in bed all day too, I’m dealing with brain fog, and it’s quiet. But meditating is different. Conscious awareness is the key difference here.

Being aware of your breath, the mantra, your body, is all key. Meditating helps you reflect on your life and how you got here, it helps you let go of negative feelings you have about yourself and others, and it helps you figure out what’s important in your life and what’s not. Just like when you sleep and dream, meditating helps sift through, filter, and make more sense of your thoughts.

If you don’t have a way to release all of your thoughts, one day your brain (or body if you have fibro), might just explode. Find a good app like headspace or calm, or start with youtube videos. You can also find my guided meditations on my IGTV @lifebykylarose.

JOURNAL

Like meditating, you will understand a little bit more about yourself.  If you don’t know where to start, read my post about how to start journaling.

There’s no right or wrong way to journal! Just write, something so amazing will happen. I usually journal immediately after (sometimes before) I meditate. I meditate, understand my thoughts, then write them down. Sometimes it helps me find closure, sometimes it prompts me to dig deeper. Getting to know yourself is HUGE! Fibromyalgia has interesting, very painful, debilitating ways of showing itself. For me, I had to really dissect every aspect of my life. My journal(s) have been a safe space to for that.

GET A COACH

I don’t know where I’d be without my coach! I happen to have a spiritual/life coach because that speaks to me. She encompasses everything- mindset, accountability, helping me let go of pressure, societal and unnecessary expectations I have of myself, uncovering why I flare and what stresses me out, helping me discover my purpose, and is just an awesome human being.

At first I was a bit hesitant. I was scared of opening up and dealing with it, because I knew those thoughts weren’t the healthiest.  I knew deep down it was in my best interest to stop resisting. If I wanted to heal and get better, I needed to DECIDE & COMMIT to myself, to explore the best relationship with myself and my perception of life.  I was ready to do the “dirty work” to feel better. I am forever grateful. We went from weekly calls for the first 4 months, to monthly calls now. It’s wonderful. 

*You have to be willing to do the internal work. Simply having a coach is not going to help. It’s not easy by any means, but is transformational, life changing.

BREATHE FRESH AIR

I would love to say go on a walk every day, but I completely understand this is not always available to the body. There was a time earlier this year where I could barely walk one time around the track without tears starting to roll off my face. Fibro pressure is real. Go on your balcony, or get dressed and go downstairs or outside. Something about the air is so good. JUST BREATHE. (And walk as often as you can, only if it feels good. There is no shame in walking for 5 minutes if that’s what you can handle that day).

NOURISH YOUR BODY

Nourish your body with a lot of water and good, whole foods. It’s so easy to go for the pre packaged meal, but especially during a flare up, feed your body and mind the good stuff! Please! A good organic shake is easy to make packed with greens and fruits. Quinoa, salads, fruits, veggies, high quality protein. Nourishment is key.

MEET YOURSELF WHERE YOU ARE

For sure easier said than done. It’s way too easy to feel guilty and beat yourself up for being in bed all day. Understand this will pass IF you put in the work to figure out what is making your body scream for help. Mental pains translate to physical pains. It may take months, it may take longer. But feeling guilty and ashamed is only going to prolong the process. I resisted for about a year. I’d find myself doing yoga flows crying, telling myself “I should be able to do this”. I totally did not meet myself where I was. Take it day by day.

IT STARTS WITH YOU 🙂

You don’t have to do everything at once! I’d start with meditating or journaling. I cannot express enough HOW important this is to healing and living the best life you can live. Your body is screaming at you because it wants to tell you something- something you’re doing is NOT working, and it’s time to dig deep, reflect, let go, and move forward. You CAN FEEL BETTER. I PROMISE YOU CAN FEEL BETTER. IT ALL STARTS WITH YOU, IN YOUR MIND. 

MUCH LOVE <3

If you have any questions please do not hesitate to reach out! Leave a comment or a DM on Instagram @lifebykylarose

How to Start Journaling

How to Start Journaling & Why: Journal Tips & Ideas

I’ve had quite a few people ask me how to journal, what to write about, if there’s a right or wrong way to do it. Journaling is a very personal and intimate thing, and the good news is there’s no wrong way to do it- everything about it is RIGHT! Wahoo. It’s a safe and sacred space to write your thoughts, emotions, what’s working, what’s not, and helps you take a step back and realize what’s going on in your life. 

Essentially journaling is a way to get your thoughts out. Many times you don’t even know those thoughts exists before your pen touches the paper. It’s a way to let go, explore feelings, find closure, among many more beautiful things. Just like when we dream or meditate, our mind sifts through our thoughts, filters them, and leaves us with the most important thoughts or wake up calls. Journaling does the same.

For me, writing helps me understand myself a little (a lot) better. I see patterns in my life based on what I write. It helps me release and organize my ideas. I learn more about what makes me happy and what doesn’t. It’s a very cleansing tool.

My mind makes so much more sense when I write it out.

I’ll admit, I find myself writing a lot more when I am in periods of deep reflection or when I’m not feeling so hot. Like I said, it helps me organize my thoughts, so when I’m upset or frustrated, I can understand WHY and take it from there. I’m trying to journal every day so it’s not just when I’m feeling a certain type of way! I’m realizing though, when you journal and you’re on cloud 9, it’s an awesome tool because you realize WHY you’re feeling so good and it makes you more GRATEFUL!

One of the best tips is to JUST WRITE! Without judgement. Just keep writing, fast, no filter, write write write. Write like no one’s reading (because they’re not, unless you show them). If you don’t feel like writing, doodle, just get the pen to paper and magic will happen 🙂

Journaling is supposed to feel good. Get get a pen you love writing with and a journal you like. Not much is worse than doing some personal development on bad paper and a pen that leaks or doesn’t work. I personally love soft paper and currently writing on Moleskin.

 

Journaling Ideas for the Seasoned or Beginner:

  • Gratitude. What are you grateful for? Can be as simple as your breath, water,  someone, or something.  I also love the 5 minute journal, it’s a great place to start if you’ve never journaled before. If you’ve been journaling a while and want to mix it up, that’s cool too. I don’t think it fully takes the place of journaling but it’s great for routine, reflection, and gratitude.  You can buy it here 🙂
  • Write about your last day or 2
  • Write down your dreams
  • Write your thoughts and emotions
  • Examine your relationship with others
  • If you’re happy, what’s going well?
  • If your upset, why?
  • Do you feel anxious about anything?
  • Do you keep thinking about something in the past? Write it down.
  • Upcoming goals?
  • What creative areas do you want to explore?
  • Do you want to try a new hobby or take a new class? 
  • Map out your ideal life and lifestyle

Even if you don’t know the answer to these questions, journaling can help you figure it out. Just get your pen to paper.

Self expression and looking inward are all the rage right now and journaling is a great way to achieve both. Journaling helps you take a step back and be like “huh, I’m feeling this way”, and gets you a little closer to understanding yourself, your life, and the relationship you have with yourself and others. It’s not always glam by any means, but I can assure you, you won’t say “I regret journaling” … unless it makes you late to work or something. Otherwise, it’s a great tool to have in your back pocket for the life journey.

 

Love love love,

Kyla

 

Meditation Tips for People who Hate Meditating

It’s time to rethink your relationship to this amazing relaxation technique we call meditating. There’s one little shift you can bring to your daily life that can turn routine into meditations. Something so simple we do unconsciously, if you can make it conscious, then you can meditate. Please be excited. But first (let me take a selfie): 

What’s setting you up for failure when it comes to meditating is what you think it is. 

We’ve all seen pictures of Buddha, sitting for hours under the Bodhi tree awaiting enlightenment, so of course you think you have to sit still for hours in complete silence. 

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While this is a form of meditation, it’s not the only way. Just like there are many genres of music, there are many genres of meditating. This post will focus on the breath. Our bodies naturally take deep breaths in times of stress. Isn’t that a sign that we would benefit from more conscious breathing?

Meditating is actually just chillin’, just “being” present, aware, without judgment to your thoughts.

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@oleksypepino

Here are 4 tips on meditating for people who hate meditating:

1. BREATHE. It all starts with the breath. If you can consciously breath wherever you are in whatever you’re doing, you’ve got it down. As long as you are breathing CONSCIOUSLY and you’re AWARE and it’s ON PURPOSE 🙂 Also, don’t get stressed or caught up in thinking you don’t have enough time to meditate. You have time. One breath takes one second, and sometimes that’s all you need.Imagine air filling up and emptying from your lungs. Wake up, take 10 breaths, then get out of bed. Sit down at office chair, take 3 deep breaths, turn on computer. Easy, you got this. 

2. MOVEMENT. Think of being in the zone. Yoga is a great example of moving meditation as the premise is one breath to one movement. Walking meditation is a thing too. Cycling, swimming, running, qi gong, tai chi, dance, and many forms of physical activity can be meditative. I consider it a moving meditation if you are conscious of and able to keep your breath consistent while rhythmically moving  #flowstate. Just observe your breath, hear it, feel it, inhale, exhale… 

(These activities can be done meditatively or non-meditatively, just remember if you walk everyday, even on your way to work, you can be conscious of your breath, and that is considered meditating. Talking on the phone and walking is not considered “walking meditatively”.)

3. STRETCH. Restorative poses feel so good in the morning or after a day’s work. Child’s pose, supine twist, legs up the wall, lying on the floor with a pillow under your knees. You can count your breath to 10 or 20 and switch sides. 

4. SIT. Yes, like the picture of Buddha under the tree. This has the least distractions and can also be the most difficult. Find a comfortable seat and breathe. Count your breath, say a mantra, put on soothing meditative music from youtube, just be. Also remember, you don’t have “good” or “bad” meditations. They just are. (They can be difficult because you didn’t feel like you could focus, or really great because you had an epiphany, but please don’t label them as bad. Cuz they all good baby.)

Take these tips and see how you can incorporate more consciousness into your daily routine. If you’re really feeling it, whip out your journal or notes in your phone and start writing. My next post will be how to start journaling, so I’ll catch you there!

Thank you for reading.

All my love- Kyla

If you liked it, share it! You can also follow me on Instagram @lifebykylarose

PS (I dislike using the word hate but I thought it would grab your attention. I say “dislike” or “don’t care for” instead =) ) 

Princess Lessons from Fibro

If you want to live a beautiful, relaxed, stress free life, get an autoimmune disease.

Here’s why:

Autoimmune diseases that put you on your butt and in bed for x amount of time usually show themselves because of stress. Some sort of mental or physical trauma that our bodies are like “ok- we have to unleash. We can’t contain it anymore. Body and mind are too stressed and can’t function enjoyably/properly so it’s time to rest until further notice”.

Ring a bell?

People (blessed with autoimmune stuff) are not supposed to live this way of “high stress”. Sure, fight or flight is really what humans are bread for, but, it’s just not for us, and some higher power- or our subconscious- KNOWS this. So we are put on our beautiful asses to REFLECT about how we live our lives, what’s important, what’s not, learning boundaries, limits, and when and where to power through. Until this happens, (for me anyway), we will stay where we are, in pain and confused.

If we only have so much time on this earth, in the midst of sleeping and dealing with brain fog and other weird stuff, it becomes crucial our thoughts are focused on the good things and our lifestyle is focused on things that matter to us (beautiful relationships, purposeful work, love, nourishment, sunshine etc.)  I’d argue this applies to any human who wants to live life with abundance.

✨I’ve learned it’s not worth living a high stress life because I’ll FLARE UP.✨

If I don’t communicate clearly, say what’s on my mind, take time for myself, let things go, take things personally, don’t have routine, don’t get enough rest, etc., my body will tense up and I’ll be in a buttload of pain. If I don’t set up my days to be peaceful, fun, purposeful… it’s bad news!  And hey, that’s a good lesson if you ask me. I know fibromyalgia is a blessing and a wake up call. I am thankful I’m learning these lessons now.

In the magical world of princesses, you have a beautiful life full of butterflies and pixy dust. Relaxed, Simple, Peaceful, On Purpose, Loving, Success, Working on what matters, Spending time on what’s important to you.

Know you can live a magical life under most circumstances between jobs and families and obligations. It comes down to how you choose to respond to these things 🙂 (That’s a totally different post.) This princess life is magical and made up, just like your life. It’s all a #CHOICE and perspective of how you want to live. How you respond to the world IS YOUR WORLD.

So, please don’t actually seek out an autoimmune disease or a breakdown. Stress isn’t worth it. Be proactive and do some reflecting about where you are currently. What stresses you out? Can you change it, or your relationship to it? What’s working? What’s not? What’s important to you? Are you living life on purpose? What can you change that’s in your control? Ask away, and you shall receive🧡

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Love,

Fibro Princess Kyla

2 mindsets that set you up for failure

We’ve all had that “aha moment” when our mind literally shifts and the light bulb turns on. How haven’t I thought about it that way before? My whole life has changed from this! SO powerful, right?

Here are 2 mindsets that set you up for failure:

1) Blaming external circumstances and 2)Taking things personally

These are sure ways to make your time on earth, hell on earth, and they go hand in hand. If you feel the shift, your time here will be aaaaamazing, if not, it’ll might probably be dark. 🌧

1.BLAMING EXTERNAL CIRCUMSTANCES

You may want to blame other people for your feelings. You may want to blame your family for giving you bad genes. You may want to blame your wall color for your bad moods, your dog and the garbage man for being loud so you can’t sleep, the fact that you have to work at 6am and don’t have money to eat healthy, or can’t workout because you don’t have enough time, and all these other external things that are making you sick, depressed, anxious, and just not happy. Sounds effing exhausting.

The secret sauce here is knowing you have control over your life and perceptions are everything. You CAN change your perception if you’re open to it.

If you blame the universe for your lack of money even if you work really hard- is it the universe or do you spend frivolously or simply don’t save or invest? Is it your deep seeded mindset that you will never have enough money or get a break? Hey, if that’s your mindset, that’s what you’ll get (or lack thereof). Of course, actions & other things come into play. I’m saying if you think you’ll never have money then you will likely not have money.

If you blame your spouse for not being able to lose weight because they cook too much or eat unhealthy or don’t go to the gym- honay, you don’t have to eat those cookies. You can go to the gym. I doubt your spouse is putting a gun to your head if you go to the gym- maybe you can even ask them to get fit with you.

If you blame your ADD on being shitty at time management, and don’t work on it, and you’re a victim to it, you will have bad time management and have a “great excuse” for it. Trust me 😉

You have the power to make shifts. It’s your perception. It’s how you act and react. We all know the saying “Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you deal with it”. Are you blaming others or current situations if things aren’t going your way? You can change it and it starts in the mind!!! “I’ve got the powerrrrr!”

2. TAKING THINGS PERSONALLY:

This ones easier said than done. 2 things here. Usually the things that upset us most about others is a mirror of what we can’t stand about ourselves. Second is that people insecurities come out in weird ways…

So, you get in an argument and you blame blame blame – how could you do this to ME HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME. I’m so mad why do you do this every time you suck I don’t like you anymore *say hurtful things, throw things, scream* 💡 wait- I’m upset, maybe I should take a step back and ask:

  • Why did what you said or did hurt me so much?
  • Do I actually do this too and that’s why I’m upset?
  • Have I set some expectation for you?
  • Does this person do this to everyone?
  • Is this THEIR insecurity coming out and I happen to be the one experiencing it?
  • You have two options- you can realize the weird shit people do are usually because of insecurities, habits, or being unaware- OR you can take it personally and battle and cause drama and resentment
  • I’m not saying don’t communicate with them, because communication is key, but think a few steps further and ask yourself questions. Ask them questions. People are probably not out to get you. Half the time people don’t realize what their deep insecurities are because they don’t let themselves think about it. Sometimes people aren’t even aware, including you. Including me. It’s really great to be open to different perceptions and put yourself in their shoes. I know. But it’s true…and it can be a hard truth.

Wayne Dyer once said Change The Way You Look At Things And The Things You Look At Change”. He was so right. When you change the way you see the world, when your intentions are positive and powerful, when you search only for the good, then your life transforms into the amazing adventure it was designed to be. (Fearlessmotivation.com)” Amen. Rest In Peace and I’m so glad I got to see you in Portland with my mom and aunt.

So here we are.

Recap

  1. You have control over your life and perception of life
  2. Blaming the external does not get you anywhere
  3. If you think the world is out to get you, the world is out to get you. Change “I’m fat and will never lose weight to” “I’m loving my body and shedding the weight so I can be healthier and feel better”
  4. Taking other people’s actions, words, and behaviors personally only holds you back
  5. It can all be as simple as a mindset shift. “This person is just the way they are, and they’re not doing it to hurt me personally, it’s their insecurity.” “And maybe I can help them”. Trust me, we all have them, and they call come out in different ways.

LOVE YOU THANKS FOR READING. AS LONG AS YOURE TRYING TO BE THE BEST VERSION OF YOURSELF, put in the work, and realize you have the power. You will thrive EVEN MORE!

Love,

Kyla

@lifebykylarose

“Reflection” and “looking inward” are buzzwords in the wellness realm. Next week I’ll touch on HOW to do it with some tools and easy exercises

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mental health awareness + my fibro story

This year has been a wild one- A roller coaster of ups and downs, pushing, resisting, loving, crying, sleeping, and freaking blossoming. With mental health awareness being today, I find it appropriate to share a little bit more than usual.

If you takeaway anything from this, it’s that people are good at hiding their struggles and WILL hide until the absolute last second possible.

Just remember that. No one wants to admit their tired and feel like complete crapola. We’re supposed to be perfect af, right? 👻Be there, be supportive, ask how your friends, family, acquaintances are doing. Call them just because. Love them just because- and don’t doubt or question their mental state. I’d like to think most people would not make things up about what they’re going through, and if they are, even more reason to be there for them.

I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia this year. It was a long time coming for sure. Everything about growing up in pain makes so much sense. Wow, I’m getting a little teary eyed writing this. Living questioning if the pain is real or normal is kind of weird. Asking your mom to get massages because your back hurts when you’re 13 is kind of odd. Starting acupuncture when you’re 17 because your body hurts, even though you’re healthy, in shape, look great, your xrays and MRIs come back normal- yet feel like shit- prob isn’t normal, but it’s real.

I GOT USED TO FEELING CONSTANT PAIN IN MY BODY. It just was. And it’s how I thought I’d live the rest of my life. The pain moves around. One year it’ll be in the shoulders, one year the lower back, one year the hips, movin and groovin. It was constant. I’d cry and cry in my teens and twenties (still am in my twenties) because it just HURT. When I was stressed in college my body would be so tense I’d cry because my bod hurt. Poor little bod. Then I’d be so frustrated my body hurt that it would hurt more because I didn’t have answers. I just thought “damn I’m this stressed and anxious?” Looking back, yes, I was, and some of it was due to not understanding why I hurt.
I was on every sports team, did lots of yoga and pilates, ran, walked, ate well, and it was just life. I always thought “does everyone else’s body hurt? I swear this is a different kind of sore”. It was just a thing and it was fine.

Filling out the forms at PT, chiro, doctor, “Onset of injury” “how did it happen” “onset date” uhhhh forever? “No car accident? No fall? Wtf are you here then?” Cuz my bod hurt bro. Lol.

Fastforward to when I met my husband 3 years ago. He’d come to yoga with me and I’d go to the gym with him. We had a freaking blast. We got to know each other in the hot room moving our bodies and lifting weights and being sweaty together. It was awesome and raw.

We both shared how our bodies hurt from previous injuries and such, but we were both used to it. He’s really strong like Hercules so can lift really heavy weights so he tears things and I’m hyper mobile. Meh- that was that. Sometimes we’d say nice things to our bodies like, “I love you body. I love you shoulder. I love you back”. Ya’ll know we still do and we laugh every time. (Update- Mat is healing his body and feels tremendously better also! Yay 🙂 )

There’s a lot in between what happened during those years, such as my grandfathering dying who I was very very close with, getting married, working out, eating different diets to feel better (vegan for 2 years). Nothing made me feel better. Everything actually made me feel worse. I lost a bunch of weight. I called in sick for work, a lot. I felt like a zombie and my brain didn’t’ work. I was tiny at my wedding. I remember getting my makeup done in my parents bedroom and asking someone to bring me 3 ibuprofen because my body just effing hurt so bad. But- that was normal, I took ibuprofen on the reg baby.

Got married to the love of my VIDA!!! My dreams came true. Our wedding was off the chain and our honeymoon was amazing. Beach life holllaaaaaaa

Then, I was in bed alllllll that summer. ALL SUMMER. And if you know me, I’m a sun bunny and love doing yoga and being outside so the fact that I wasn’t outside and was in bed until 4pm most days was… weird af. Fast forward fast forward, did a little hot yoga here and there, did a little pilates here and there. Came home and cried here and there. Went on a few trips to hang out with Mat’s family on the East Coast. Was worried that his family thought I was a bit… slow or disengaged because my brain literally did not work and all I wanted to do was lay in bed on Thanksgiving day. And I did. And I felt effing terrible about it.

Boom.

Woke up new years day 2018. Felt. Like. Shit. The drinking didn’t help. My New Years Resolution was to NOT WORK OUT for FOUR MONTHS so my body could heal, because “it was just tendonitis” that was giving me all my pain. Ok- cool. Let me rest so I can heal and get back to living my life. My mind was in a weird place because I do love working out. We went to Turkey to see my fam, I tried to play it cool, I was so tired. I blamed the jet lag. When you wanna hide something you can do a really good job. Trust me.

Got back from Turkey April 1st, then April 3rd I went to a slow flow yoga class. I felt great. I was like this is it. I’m back baby.

April 4th, I cried. I cried and cried and cried and layed in bed all day. I just couldn’t understand what was going on. WHY did I hurt? Me? I do freaking hot power baptiste yoga. Slow flow can’t hurt me… SIKE. I was dead to the freaking world.

I was like naaaaaaw this can’t be. Took my friend’s hot yoga class the week after. Not a good idea. She suggested I go to her chiropractor (thanks Ash). She told me I had scoliosis- voila! The answer to my struggles! Mmmm… not so fast. The treatment hurt and I eventually stopped going after a month.

That was the onset of being in bed for months. The only reason I’d get out of bed was because I knew Mat was coming home at 5pm and I didn’t want him to think I was lazy. So maybe I’d make some food, or shower, or go on a walk, then go right back to bed. It got to a point where I couldn’t hide it anymore. It was a mind eff, Excuse my FRENCH.

Then

I went to

The

Endocrinologist. Who told me I had low thyroid and Hashimoto’s disease. My naturopath already told me that. Old news. The meds I took the year before gave me insomnia and didn’t give me more energy so that was also short lived.

Anyway, I was in so much pain I cried in his office. I literally cried. In his office. He gave me some amazing magical NSAID anti-inflammatory in the world. Holy shit. I had never felt better in my life. He told me I had to see the… RHEUMOTOLOGIST. OH NO.

BTW: During this time I couldn’t even walk a mile on the track without feeling like I was going to topple over. One or two laps around the track was a victory. This is effing weird because I am like one of the most active people you have ever met lol.

I should have seen the rheumatologist years ago. I was scared. I was so effing scared because arthritis runs in my family, on both sides. And Fibromyalgia on at least one. My aunts have mentioned since I was a young age that it sounds like I have it. I’ve been in denial. I think denial is a totally different post here. Anyway. That is the doctor I did not want to see but I knew he had my answer. Tests and tests and tests and tests and tests. Everything negative.

Dun dun dun. Fibromyalgia it is. Tears of joy and sadness.

And there it is. Let’s say about 15 years later I got my answer. The diagnosis is just the beginning. That was in June I think. It’s now October. I did physical therapy and it saved me. I have a wonderful spiritual coach who helps me. I don’t yet do yoga, because I don’t yet know my limits there (recently did a few photo shoots and felt OK after). I walk now, I take dance classes now, I’m starting pilates again next week, and gonna start doing some light kettle bell flows with Mat, too.

So much more I want to say. I know this doesn’t have much to do with mental health, but, I was in a weird and kinda dark place. I’m used to being a pop of sunshine and full of energy and all the fun things. I didn’t hang with my friends much, they prob just thought I was busy. It hurt physically so bad, was so frustrating, it turned mental.

The thing I can say I did EVERY SINGLE DAY while feeling like death in bed, was meditate and journal. AND instead of ibuprofen which can be bad for your liver I take magical CBD. Thank GOD!

I have a great support group and I’m surrounded by lots of love- INCLUDING THE LOVING THINGS I SAY TO MYSELF. Give your love and attention to those who need it. It will help them. Don’t be ashamed to ask for help. It’s hard and scary and makes you want to cringe sometimes. However it’s one of the first steps. A big shout out to my husband family friends acquaintances for da love. All the love. There’s enough love to go around. Because love makes love 🙂

Reminding myself it can always be worse, it is manageable, la vida is buena, and the universe or God or whatever your higher power( (if any) gives you only what you can manage and break through. I have done a complete 180 from even just 2 or 3 months ago.

Not saying everything’s perfect, but I’m over here learning about my body and mind and all other beautiful gifts

It’s all Gucci baby.

Thank you for reading

Love,

Kyla Rose Rocchi

*forgive any misspellings I’m on my phone