“CALM DOWN”… WTH Does That Even Mean?

It means don’t get worked up, duh!!! Great, but how?

We are flooded with stereotypical quotes of how to live our lives. BE CALM. CALM DOWN. BE HAPPY. BE ORGANIZED. BE TIMELY. Be mindful. Eat mindfully. Have better time management. Have a clean room. Don’t be late. Stop procrastinating. Smile. Laugh. Don’t cry. Don’t be upset. Stop yelling. Speak up. Don’t do that. Be aware. Lose weight. Gain weight.

Wonderful, a list of things to do, without any tools to do so. Remind me again how success will flow after telling someone to “Calm down”, when they don’t have any tools to help them get there? YIKES!


you’re in an argument with your significant other and s/he tells you to just calm down. You’re like WHAT DO YOU MEAN CALM DOWN HOW COULD I COME DOWN ARE YOU CRAZY. *Yell yell scream scream bang doors cries and don’t talk for three days feels terrible* You feel out of control and don’t even know what you said and don’t mean the hurtful things you screamed. What a monster.


You remember a video you watched about how to actually calm your mind and body down. You say, “ OK…I just need a minute”. You close your eyes and start breathing. 5 deep breaths in and out. *I know this will calm me down from the cellular level. I know this will calm my brain down. I know this will get my heart rate down. I know I’ll open my eyes and be able to either say I need some space or time to think or the conversation will naturally come to a civilized pace and tone. I’ll feel in control of my emotions*.

Whoa. Which one sounds better? I’d say option #2 tickles my fancy. Lol.

And Lord knows I’ve experienced #1 and #2, though #2 seems to be a lot better for my mental health, my relationships, and my life as a whole.

I think tools for success are lacking. We have expectations and goals without the “how”.

Next time you tell someone to calm down, or better yet, need to calm down yourself, BREATHE.


If you find yourself worked up over whatever it may be, Stop. Drop. And breathe. You don’t have to drop but definitely stop, let your eyes close if you’re in an environment where it’s safe (aka not driving), and take 5+ slow, deep breaths. Keep breathing. The breath calms down your nervous system. Breathing lowers your blood pressure, reduces anxiety, slows the heart rate, relaxes the body, releases endorphins, helps you be in control. When you take step back as a form of self respect, you’ll come back to the situation with a new perspective. 

Even if you don’t need to “calm down” per sey, incorporating deep breathing throughout your day is healthy. If you have a life where you have deadlines, drive, have a cell phone and access to social media and technology… it’s good to take a few moments to yourself, cuz self love is where it’s at.

To try at home: You breathe every second of every day, it won’t hurt to experiment with a few mindful breaths throughout the day. It’ll take a total of 2 minutes to complete these exercises.

In the morning: Before you go on social media, take a full body stretch with a few breaths! 5-10 mindful and aware breaths as a 1 minute morning ritual. I can only say from experience it will start your day with a sense of ease.

When you’re driving: Traffic is to be expected. Distract yourself from the stress by taking a few breaths here.

Another fun one (lol) is every time you somehow end up on social media scrolling through your Instagram, exit out and take 1 big deep breath. You may be surprised how often you automatically open up those apps! Instead of getting mad at yourself, you do something good for your bod and mind 🙂



<3 Kyla

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