We’ve all had that “aha moment” when our mind literally shifts and the light bulb turns on. How haven’t I thought about it that way before? My whole life has changed from this! SO powerful, right?
Here are 2 mindsets that set you up for failure:
1) Blaming external circumstances and 2)Taking things personally
These are sure ways to make your time on earth, hell on earth, and they go hand in hand. If you feel the shift, your time here will be aaaaamazing, if not, it’ll might probably be dark. 🌧
1.BLAMING EXTERNAL CIRCUMSTANCES
You may want to blame other people for your feelings. You may want to blame your family for giving you bad genes. You may want to blame your wall color for your bad moods, your dog and the garbage man for being loud so you can’t sleep, the fact that you have to work at 6am and don’t have money to eat healthy, or can’t workout because you don’t have enough time, and all these other external things that are making you sick, depressed, anxious, and just not happy. Sounds effing exhausting.
The secret sauce here is knowing you have control over your life and perceptions are everything. You CAN change your perception if you’re open to it.
If you blame the universe for your lack of money even if you work really hard- is it the universe or do you spend frivolously or simply don’t save or invest? Is it your deep seeded mindset that you will never have enough money or get a break? Hey, if that’s your mindset, that’s what you’ll get (or lack thereof). Of course, actions & other things come into play. I’m saying if you think you’ll never have money then you will likely not have money.
If you blame your spouse for not being able to lose weight because they cook too much or eat unhealthy or don’t go to the gym- honay, you don’t have to eat those cookies. You can go to the gym. I doubt your spouse is putting a gun to your head if you go to the gym- maybe you can even ask them to get fit with you.
If you blame your ADD on being shitty at time management, and don’t work on it, and you’re a victim to it, you will have bad time management and have a “great excuse” for it. Trust me 😉
You have the power to make shifts. It’s your perception. It’s how you act and react. We all know the saying “Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you deal with it”. Are you blaming others or current situations if things aren’t going your way? You can change it and it starts in the mind!!! “I’ve got the powerrrrr!”
2. TAKING THINGS PERSONALLY:
This ones easier said than done. 2 things here. Usually the things that upset us most about others is a mirror of what we can’t stand about ourselves. Second is that people insecurities come out in weird ways…
So, you get in an argument and you blame blame blame – how could you do this to ME HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME. I’m so mad why do you do this every time you suck I don’t like you anymore *say hurtful things, throw things, scream* 💡 wait- I’m upset, maybe I should take a step back and ask:
- Why did what you said or did hurt me so much?
- Do I actually do this too and that’s why I’m upset?
- Have I set some expectation for you?
- Does this person do this to everyone?
- Is this THEIR insecurity coming out and I happen to be the one experiencing it?
- You have two options- you can realize the weird shit people do are usually because of insecurities, habits, or being unaware- OR you can take it personally and battle and cause drama and resentment
- I’m not saying don’t communicate with them, because communication is key, but think a few steps further and ask yourself questions. Ask them questions. People are probably not out to get you. Half the time people don’t realize what their deep insecurities are because they don’t let themselves think about it. Sometimes people aren’t even aware, including you. Including me. It’s really great to be open to different perceptions and put yourself in their shoes. I know. But it’s true…and it can be a hard truth.
“Wayne Dyer once said ‘Change The Way You Look At Things And The Things You Look At Change”. He was so right. When you change the way you see the world, when your intentions are positive and powerful, when you search only for the good, then your life transforms into the amazing adventure it was designed to be. (Fearlessmotivation.com)” Amen. Rest In Peace and I’m so glad I got to see you in Portland with my mom and aunt.
So here we are.
- You have control over your life and perception of life
- Blaming the external does not get you anywhere
- If you think the world is out to get you, the world is out to get you. Change “I’m fat and will never lose weight to” “I’m loving my body and shedding the weight so I can be healthier and feel better”
- Taking other people’s actions, words, and behaviors personally only holds you back
- It can all be as simple as a mindset shift. “This person is just the way they are, and they’re not doing it to hurt me personally, it’s their insecurity.” “And maybe I can help them”. Trust me, we all have them, and they call come out in different ways.
LOVE YOU THANKS FOR READING. AS LONG AS YOURE TRYING TO BE THE BEST VERSION OF YOURSELF, put in the work, and realize you have the power. You will thrive EVEN MORE!
“Reflection” and “looking inward” are buzzwords in the wellness realm. Next week I’ll touch on HOW to do it with some tools and easy exercises